Why Do Some People Say, “Church Sucks!”
That’s a good question. I would like to honestly know why a person does not have any interest in attending or associating in any way with organized religion….no matter what the flavor. I would like for other bloggers to help me in finding out the, no doubt the many, reasons why so many people have no desire to attend church. You can post your results on this article, you can cut and paste this to your blog, you can create your own survey, but please share your results with me.
Why do this survey you ask? Another good question. I think that we, those in church, should care about what people are thinking and how all people perceive the church. I think that the church must adapt to the needs of those people around them. I think we can easily, at best, develop blindspots and at worst grow complacent and uncaring.
If you don’t attend church won’t you please share you honest reasons on this post? If you do attend church and have a blog, would you please put a link on your blog to this post for the unchurched to share their thoughts with me? Thanks!
Posted that question in a Pearl Jam forum this morning. Should get a wide variety of answers there.
Thanks Mudpuppy…
It’s quite simple, really. It wouldn’t make much sense for an atheist to go to church.
Well… it’s not the ‘Church’ so much as the hypocricy of some of the people inside (including Church leaders) that made me look for God elsewhere. I mean, I’m sure they’re nice people and stuff, but it’s the whole “Here’s what I say… (it ain’t what I do)” thing that turned me away.
I’m talking about Christianity, because that is the prominent religion in America and the one I know the most about. I know enough Catholics who have either warned me or have shown me the trappings of that religion… so, I’m not going to step on that landmine. I don’t know enough about Islam or Judaism to make a fair assessment… and those off-shoot religions like Hare Krishna or Scientology… who am I kidding? I’m not going to shave my head and play a tamborine at the airport or have enough money to reach the higher rankings in those religions.
The problem I have with Christianity isn’t Christ… it’s Christians. It’s like they get a ‘Get Out Of Hell’ Free Card that they play. Jesus forgives you… so, go ahead and be a dick to people. Example: If it’s ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’… then don’t lie and cheat on your taxes, regardless of how you justify it. Cheating is cheating and you know it and so does Jesus. Don’t ask for His forgiveness in January and file a false claim in April. The answer to me seems quite simple… don’t do crappy stuff and you won’t have to keep asking Him for His forgiveness.
Now, I know ALL Christians do not this… but, it just seems to me that if Christians as a whole were more ‘Christ-like’… less concerned about what other people are doing or believing and concentrated more on what Jesus said at the Sermon at the Mount… then, maybe I’d give up the Sunday morning NFL.
Til then… if religion fits your needs… then, good for you, may you find peace with that. As for me… I’ll find God in my own way. I’ve been shown too many dead ends by religion… I think, that for me… personally… I’m better off on my own path.
Cliques are a big turn off so is *churchianity*, and the teaching (preaching) that if you are not in church every Sunday morning and evening and again on Wednesday evening, then you are not saved and are going to Hell.
** I define ‘churchianity’ as the symbolism of faith without the substance. This is where adherence to a structured and approved belief is held as the only thing that really matters.
People who tell you what type of clothes wear or music to listen to. When I first became a Christian and was told to come dressed for church, I knew they meant clean t-shirt and jeans, I knew I would be loved and accepted.
Cosmo, thanks for you honest input. I guess I’m just luck to be part of a group of people who are doing church like the positive way you described how church should be….that is more concerned about what Jesus said at the Sermon on the Mount…..as a matter of fact, I’m in the middle of series on that lesson in the book of Matthew! Keep searching until you find a fellowship that is truly living for Jesus….and you will be blessed!
Laura, I can really understand how people can be turned off to church by people who are not living what they say they believe….but how can anyone, truly, be an atheist? There is an enormous amount of evidence leading to a creator rather than to us just being here by mere chance.
Beartracks….”come as you are!”
I can assure you, Tom, that I truly am one. While it is possible (far from certain, but possible) that some creative force sparked the beginning of the universe, I’m quite confident that if such a force or being exists, it does not it any way resemble the god of the bible, who I find to be the most unpleasant and unlikeable character in all literature.
I’m not trying to insult you or your beliefs, although I suppose it may come off that way. For that I apologize, but I know of no other way to say it. I have no problem at all with Christians, or people of any other faith, as long as they’re not pestering me to join them … in fact, that describes most of my family and friends, who I love a great deal.
You asked why I don’t go to church, and it’s a very simple answer. It’s not that I have anything against the church, and it’s not the people who turned me off. Yes, there are churches that horrify me by what they preach and the way they behave, but they are not the only churches out there … other churches are filled with some of the finest people around. It’s simply that I don’t believe a bit of what the church teaches. It’s the bible itself that turns me off.
Well you’ve already heard my take on the subject before but here goes again…….
I grew up going to church, one that was close to being a cult and another that was a megachurch. The reason I stopped going (before Newsong) was hypocrocy and the ones who I was supposed to believe were holy hurt me the most. I guess it’s like the old analogy that if a dog bites you you’re probably not going to pet that dog again. Or you could say… if you fall off the horse than get right back on. I guess the best thing to remember is that humankind is imperfect, we all fall short even Christians. The saddest sin to me is Christians pretending to be perfect so when they sin and sometimes they sin big, then they lead God’s children away from him instead of closer. I am just grateful to have kept my faith long enough to find my way back!!
I do come as I am.
I am, like Laura, an atheist, so it wouldn’t make much sense. I’m 19 years old and I do have a few ‘Christian’ friends, they rarely go to Church. They say the Church is losing the younger people because they are too conservative and not innovative enough (I live in Europe, so I don’t know how it is in the US).
Laura and Collin….not going to church is one thing, and in light of some people’s circumstances, very understandable. But, being an atheist is something entirely different. Those who believe in God have their reason for believing in God. I am honestly interested in what are your reasons for being an atheist….Also, Collin, could you further explain what you mean by churches are too conservative and not innovative enough?
Hi Tom. I am an atheist because I’ve never heard an explanation for any god that holds up to scrutiny. It simply doesn’t make any sense. In my conversations with religious people, we always reach a point where they say “Well, sometimes you just have to have faith.” I’m sorry, but that’s not good enough for me. That’s what you say when you don’t have an explanation. If that’s the standard … belief without proof … you could believe in ANYTHING. Jesus, Mohammed, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, what’s the difference? They’ve all been equally proven.
Are you just curious about atheists, or are you concerned for our welfare? You sound as if you’re a bit worried about us. I promise you that I’m quite content … much more so, in fact, than I was in years past when I was casting about for a religion because I felt like I ought to have one. Once I finally realized that I don’t believe any of it, that I am not the sort of person who accepts things on faith, and accepted that there was no way I was going to turn myself into that sort of person, I’ve been much happier. Many religious people (I’m not saying you, but I encounter this a lot) seem to think that I must be feeling some deep spiritual void or something, and that is not the case. Plus I get to sleep in on Sunday mornings, which I really like
Don’t know if you’ve clicked on the Pearl Jam Forum link above lately, but that thread has progressed quite nicely as well…
Laura, I’m curious as to how you deal with major league questions, that all humans ask, like why are we here? Where are we going? What happens when we die? Is there any purpose to this whole thing? Are we just the result of some biological chance? What is the need for morality? If we are just animals, why not follow the animal kingdoms plan….only the strongest survice? Is there any real meaning to life? Why does is seem there is so much order and purpose in the universe? Why does it appear to have design? Is this all just….luck?
No love in the church.
@Adam – Are you saying there is no love in the church universal or in your experience at a local church?
I think some people, disagree with the way some churches operate: A lot of the churches where I live have do not understand the community at large (they talk a good game, but do not see the dynamic of the community changing around them), poor leadership (poor leaders and over bearing bullies who believe the best way to get anything done is to frighten people. All they have are people who will tell you what to do, and not lead us in doing it), concerned with look and not action (more concerned about image than reality. More concerned with the condition with building then with building the condition of the people. The carpet looks great, because no food is allowed near it. The stain glass is wonderful; because they spend more money on cleaning and maintaining it then on mission work), and it’s all about money (don’t see people as an individual, only as a checkbook. Over the time I was with the church I heard more sermons on how much I should be giving and not one on how much you were willing to give up. The only time I had anyone from a church visit me was when “pledge time” came around and they needed me to increase my giving. It got to the point were I felt no matter what I gave it would never be enough.)
And obviously there are so many political and religious/anti-religious reasons.
@Pat, If everything you say is a fair representation of the truth at that congregation, I would heartily agree….”that church sucks!”
I sure hope you’ve searched and found that not all churches are like that. I hope you have found a community of believers that is simply introducing people to Jesus and helping them fall in love with him.
If not, come visit us at NewSong on Sunday! We are not perfect….as a matter of fact….there are no perfect people allowed at NewSong! But we are doing our best to re-discover church in our generation.
The best way to change a church is by changing me!
I’m the only one left in my family that attends church and holds out hope for some kind of new spiritual awakening. This is the truth, my family is mostly burned-out Baptists, tired of fundamentalism that condemns people who are different, they love tradition in worship (hymns, choirs, quiet reverence etc.) and have simply lost faith in an institution that has let them down time after time while allowing the likes of John Hagee, Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell to define Christianity. They are also sickened by anything “Purpose Driven” or other “Jesus Marketing”.
@John, Thanks for sharing your personal experiences. It is helpful for me and I can definitely relate. There is another way to do church…I hope others in your family find that path.
The problem is that the church has lost it’s way. The majority of churches preach that obedience is crucial, yet they don’t abide by the requirements set forth in Timothy for Overseers and Deacons.
It seams that the bible is correct unless in conflicts with modern world ideas. We no longer have the faith to die for what we believe as most of those in the early church did. Our faith is weak and therefore people see right through that.
@Rob interesting observation. In all the biblical areas of obedience you reference church leadership in the form of oversears and deacons ( and you capitalized them….did you mean that? I did not….for a reason) I could not agree with you more that obedience is crucial, or could we say critical? That said, where does grace fit in? How does church play out when you are not obedient? What happens when we are critical and judgemental of one another’s faith? Will there not always be people with weak faith in the church? Will there not always be people with strong faith in the church? Is there not a place for all? The world should know this. They will know there is a place for them. What is it, truth that is, that you would die for? Laws? Rules? Regulations? I sure hope not. I hope there is something more to give ones life.
What is an oversear? What is a deacon? How is that so crucial to the image of the church? Get church polity right then all is right?
What I see is that the Church I attend is partially what Pat said, “The Church sees people as a checkbook”. Practically every Sunday they teach about giving, Tithing, and volunteering at the Church. But when I try to volunteer, they keep saying they don’t need any more help. Just money.
I don’t have much money. I’m satisfied with my income. I have enough to meet my needs. But every time I go to Church, I feel poor because I don’t have more money to give to the Church. Every time I go to Church, I feel that they don’t want me, they just want money, and they wouldn’t mind if I don’t go as long as I send them a nice big check every week.
Another thing I dislike about my Church is that most of the Service is taken up by Praise and Worship. It’s almost all entertainment. There’s hardly any Sermon at all. And what little time is left for the Sermon is mostly taken up by analogies and personal illustrations (more entertainment). I don’t even need to take my Bible to Church.
I e-mailed the Pastor almost two weeks ago and have not heard back. I’m thinking about looking for another Church, because every time I go to this Church, I feel like a pathetic loser. I don’t feel God there. All I feel is manipulation, from the Pastor and the Worship Team, so they can get more money to make the building bigger and bigger and bigger.